


Breathe Again

by thewayshefell



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Flevance, Grief/Mourning, Hints of LawLu, If You Squint - Freeform, Letters, M/M, Sad, White City
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 20:02:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21021464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewayshefell/pseuds/thewayshefell
Summary: Law returns home for the first time in 16 years.The town is exactly how he remembers it but somehow so different."Law stands outside the fence, it has been 16 years since he has set foot in this town, since anyone besides Navy approved personal have been in the city limits. It's not like anybody wanted to enter and anybody who had any reason to, was already dead. Law took a deep breath, knowing that he had about 5 minutes before the guard patrol would be making its rounds."





	Breathe Again

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work with this tag and the first one that I have completed!! Big Shout Out to Marlene for dealing with me and listening to all my ideas and my theories and explaining the characters and everything! I did some editing and broke up the paragraphs a bit on 2/13/2020.

Law stands outside the fence, it has been 16 years since he has set foot in this town, since anyone besides Navy approved personnel have been in the city limits. It's not like anybody wanted to enter and anybody who had any reason to, was dead. Law took a deep breath, knowing that he had about 5 minutes before the guard patrol would be making its next round and he would be discovered. He thought about doing this after  _ cora _ ..... just after, but he couldn't. Law had  _ things _ to do and he knew that he wouldn't have left, wouldn't have been able to, wouldn't have  _ wanted _ to, if he had gone with so much grief and pain so fresh in his heart. The thought or returning came again when he was still a warlord, but he didn't know what intel the government had on him and Law would be damned if he gave them anymore information that they could hold over him, at least that what law told himself. Law wasn't ready to face his past then, hell he still wasn't really, but he couldn't keep putting it off. He had nothing else to focus on, not with Cora-san gone and Doflamingo and Kiado defeated, it was all he could think about. 

His alliance with Mugiwara-ya is over, and they both need to lay low, not that Law trusted Luffy to do that, so Law decided it was time to do something a little reckless too, like entering a city that the World Government had tried to burn off the map. Law took another deep breath,  _ in, out, in, out, in, out _ . Law opened his eyes, not realizing he shut them and decided it was now or never. On his next exhale Law expanded Room to about 10 feet, just enough space to get in the fence and behind a building before he's discovered. 

As Law enters the side street, he here’s the soldiers making their way past, he focuses on their footsteps instead of the fact that  _ holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck, deep breathes Law, you cannot loose it here. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. _ Law focuses on his breathing while he walks the familiar yet foriegn streets, streets Law walked as a child. As Law walked by white buildings and statues that were once an indicator of the cities wealth he was reminded of all the things lost. 

Law paused once he entered the plaza, images of a past life flashing through his head. Of a festival, his classmates, his friends, his parents,  _ Lami. Breathe Law. In. Out.  _ Of the Sister, who tried to save them, and of the children, who weren’t able to be saved. Law was filled with rage and sadness, shoulders shaking with so much emotion, he couldn’t tell if he wanted to cry or kill something. Probably kill something. The nobles that fled, the soldiers that turned their guns on children, the world that ignored it. All of it filled Law with so much rage he was basically vibrating. Law tried to sort through the images that kept bombarding him, images of the sick, of the violence.

Law tried to focus on something, anything, that would stop the flashbacks. Not the cobblestone, once white to match the city, now a weird shade of pink, from being soaked in blood. Not the buildings and statues, made out of the thing that caused the sickness, that brought wrath onto the entire city, that caused Law to live through such revolting things that left him with nightmares to this day.  _ Breathe…. in... out…. come on Law, get it together.  _ Law crouches down, trying to get ahold of his breathing. He looks up at the sky, a sky not dark with smoke as it was towards the end, but one that made him nostalgic for a time long before Law knew what agony really was. Law felt his eyes droop as the sunshine washed over him, Law instinctively leaned his head up towards the sun. A small breeze blew with a hint of winter still on it, reminding Law of when Lami would drag him to all the Spring festivals the town would put on. It reminded him of home, of the White City that once flourished before it was scorched and turned black. It reminded Law of  _ Flevance _ .

Law takes a moment to breathe and remember the times that weren’t covered in blood, his or someone else’s. He remembered a time when he was just a weird kid aspiring to be a doctor, the best doctor. A time not encompassed by pain and revenge. It’s been years since Law has allowed himself to think like that, it used to bring so much pain and sleepless nights but somehow it's different. Thinking about it here in the town that made him, he has nothing to fear, nothing else that this town can take from him. One more breath, one more memory, and on the exhale Law stands. He makes his way down the streets, down Memory Lane, actually and figuratively. As a child Law always scuffed at this street, it is an idiotic name and Law stands by that as an adult, but it brought a small smile to his face nevertheless. 

Law didn’t know if the strawhats insanity was starting to rub off on him, or if he was getting soft in his old age of 26. He never expected to live this long, spent the last 16 years expecting death at any moment. With amber lead poisoning and Doflamingo, his life expectancy was not very high. Not that that would change anytime soon, he was still a pirate after all, making it to 26 showed just how smart and strong Law was. He has only made more and stronger enemies along the way. 

Law took some time to wander the streets and relive a life long forgotten. He passed by the restaurant his parents went on their first date and then continued to go to for every anniversary. Law paused in front of Lami’s favorite ice cream shop.She used to drag Law to it every chance she got, just wanting to spend time with her big brother. She would pull him out of his studies and demand he take her to get ice cream. Lami wasn’t the type to throw a fit when she didn’t get her way but she was always persistent with Law. She used to give him the biggest puppy eyes when she wanted something and Law always tried to resist with little success. He would cave in about five minutes into Lami’s begging. 

He spent many days walking down this street to that ice cream parlour with Lami’s hand in his. Sometimes he let her get two scoops and made her promise not to tell mom and dad even though Law knew his parents would know anyways. It felt like a secret that they could share together. A silly little secret that wouldn’t mean anything but something that they got to share. Law shook himself out of his daze and continued moving, walking down the same route he would with Lami every friday when school let out.Turning left and right on pure instinct until his feet brought him to the centerpoint of his adolescent life.Law stood outside the iron-wrought gates, he never thought he would see this place again and a part of him still doesn’t want to. Law doubled his effort to focus on his breathing.  _ In. Out _ . It is not the proud structure it once was.  _ In. Out _ . but the burnt and crumbling shell. The Hospital. The hospital that Law went to school at,  _ In. Out _ . That his parents worked at.  _ In. Out _ ., Where his family died.  _ Shit. _

Law turned his back to the burnt building that was his family grave, and leaned against the gate for some support. There was nothing left from him in that building besides ash. Law tries to get his breathing under control and remember why he came back here. Back to a hell that was so hard to escape that he literally had to hide underneath the bodies of his friends. Why did he come back? It felt like every turn he took there was another ghost, another memory of a time before Law knew loss, of a time he would never be able to return too. An innocence long gone, long forgotten, stolen from him by unrighteous people. 

Law sighed, there was no point getting angry about something he couldn’t change, there is no way to bring his family back, there is no way to go back to a time before greed consumed everything he loved. Law pushed himself off the fence, deciding he did not need to enter the hospital to know that he wouldn’t find anything but pain. Law knew that the soldiers had already cleaned up the city of any bodies that were left behind and if by some chance they had missed his parents or his sister, Law really did ** _ NOT_ ** want to know. Inquisitive mind or not, he had enough nightmares to fill him a lifetime without actively seeking out more. There was nothing he could do for his family either way. Law makes a quick decision, one more stop, and then he will say good-bye to this town.

Law makes his way around the hospital and down the side streets. It’s been 16 years but he still remembers the way. _ I guess it’s hard to forget, _ he muses to himself,  _ when you’ve only had one home.  _ When he stayed with Doflamingo he never considered anything his, not with Baby 5 and Buffalo around making his life difficult. Everything belonged to  _ The Family _ . Law hardly considered the dump they lived in a home either. Then with Cora-san, they never stayed anywhere long enough for it to be a home, mostly camping and sleeping in odd spots or on a ship. Then after Cora-san Law didn’t stay anywhere long. Always moving, never owning anything from fear of losing, on the run from the government and from Doflamingo, it was hard to have a home. The Polar Tang is the closest thing Law has to a home, and sometimes The Thousand Sunny, though Law would never admit that allowed. When Law got The Polar Tang it was the most logical decision, to be able to hide in a place where Doflamingo’s strings wouldn't be able to reach him. It was the only place he could breathe freely for the longest time. The irony wasn’t lost on Law that the only place he could relax was on a cramped submarine thousands of feet deep in the ocean.

More recently, with Doflamingo, Law has been able to relax a bit more. He is still on high alert, about 90% of the time, because lifelong habits are hard to break. Law has found himself able to relax in other places for the first time in his life. Ridiculously enough, he is able to relax around the strawhats and on The Thousand Sunny. They may be idiots but someone is always alert even when it looks like nobody's paying attention. Law has found that he is able to relax and enjoy the sunshine while on The Thousand Sunny, in a way that he hasn’t barely been able to since before he left this town the first time. Law adamantly believes that it has nothing to do with a certain straw hat wearing captain and everything to do with Doflamingo being locked away and Law finally dealing with some of his… issues. Well, maybe his ability to relax on The Thousand Sunny has a little to do with its captain, but only because Luffy helped Law take revenge on Doflamingo. That’s all. Law stopped his musing as he turned on the street that his family home sat on. 

Law slowly makes his way to his childhood home. He hasn’t been here since Lami got sick and had to be moved to the hospital. Law did not want to leave her side unless absolutely necessary and going home wasn’t necessary. Law thought that home wasn’t home without Lami, so there was no point to even go there. As Law got closer he slowed slightly, memorising every detail of the house that he had forgotten. It wasn’t damaged by the fires that had shrouded most of the town. It was closer to the outskirts, it didn’t show the wealth his family had, just enough for the four of them. They spent most of their time, and money, on the hospital so their home wasn’t much besides a home. It was about a 15 minute walk to the hospital but far enough back to be away from the hustle and bustle of the prosperous and busy city.

Law walks up to the door that was slightly ajar. It makes sense, Law thought to himself. He knows the soldiers had to burn all the bodies, which means they would have had to go through every home, shop, and public area, to round up everybody. As he pushed open the door he was hit with such a sense of homesickness and nostalgia that he almost took a step back. Everything was almost how it was the last time he was there, beside it being absurdly messy from furniture being pushed and toppled. Nothing was really out of place, nothing missing from what he could tell with a quick glance. That wasn’t much of a surprise, Amber Lead poisoning was thought to be contagious by the idiots that invaded his town. Nobody would want to take anything and end up sick and share the fate as those who perished in the White City.

Law made his way around the small house, looking and touching things he never thought he would see again. Law ran his hand over the couch, a little grateful that none of them were killed here, that Law was allowed to have this museum of his family's life. Law moved deeper into his home, bypassing his room, he throws a glance at Lami’s room and quickly decides he will do that last, he needed to process it all. Law headed towards his parents room, slowly pushing the door open.

Law stood in the doorway taking it all in, the bed his parents slept in, the nightstand filled with family photos, a wall of bookshelves filled to the brim with medical and research books. Off in a nook was Law’s parents home office, which was basically a desk and two chairs stuffed into the reading area by their window. Law made his way into the room running his hand over the books. He went over to the nightstand, looked at all the pictures his parents deemed important enough to leave out of the albums and put on display. One from when Lami was a baby, Law’s class photo where he was holding frog as a dare, a picture from his parents' wedding, Law and Lami playing together, their last family photo. So many memories, things Law hasn’t thought about in years, has forced himself not to think about, and here they all are. In a home long abandoned, a place forgotten, with people who no longer exist.

Law looks away, overcome with emotion, and moves towards his parents office. He takes a seat at the chair that he remembers seeing his father sit at all the time to catch up on paper work or write up his latest findings. Law shuffles mindlessly through some papers until he comes across something addressed to him. He stares at it for a moment dumbfounded. He picks up the paper and looks a little closer and realizes its a letter, addressed to him, in his father's horrible doctor handwriting. Law is almost positive that if anyone else tried to read it they would think it was from a child writing nonsense. 

Law grabbed the letter and made his way around the rest of the room, finally ending up back where he started. Law held his breath and strengthened his resolve before heading out of his parents' room and towards Lami’s. Law regulated his breathing, sometimes he forgets about Lami, and his parents, and how much they mean to him. Those times are a blessing, when Law forgets about how much losing his parents fucked him up and how losing his sister literally made him lose his mind for a bit there. If it hadn’t been for Cora-san he would have been lost in his grief, Lami would have been so distraught to see what he was like during that time. To see her loving kind brother so angry, so bloodthirsty, Law lost himself when he lost his sister. He is not ready to go through that again, he doesn’t know if he is strong enough to not be consumed by despair. _ In, out, in, out, it’s not like last time,  _ Law tells himself,  _ you can’t lose her again anyways. _ Law gathered all his strength and pushed forward, throwing Lami’s door open and marched into the middle of the room. 

Law looked around and it was exactly how he remembered it. Dolls and toys all over the place, clothes thrown about from playing dress up, stickers on the wall. Exactly what you would expect a little girls room to look like. A room waiting for its owner to come back. Law took a closer look at Lami’s toys and released that they were exactly how they were the last time they played together, Lami insisting that she didn’t need to put them away because her and Law would play with them again tomorrow. Then Lami got sick and the dolls just waited and waited and are still waiting for Lami to drag Law in to play house with them.

Law turned his back on them again, figuring that they have waited this long, they can continue to wait. As he turns he continues to survey the room. More toys and a bookcase full of books, fairytales and adventure. Then Law’s eyes settled on the only part of Lami’s room that was always clean, her bed. Both of Law’s parents allowed them to live and play in their rooms but they were very strict about always making their beds. On Lami’s bed was a small stuffed rabbit, her favorite stuffed animal. She took it with her everywhere since the day she got it. Their parents literally had to bribe Lami with ice cream to get her to leave it at home. The day she fell sick was one of those days. Then with the mess that was amber lead poisoning everyone forgot about Lami’s little stuffed rabbit. Law sits on the bed with a sigh, and pulls the rabbit into his lap, crumbling around it, incassing it with his body. Law takes a moment their breathing in Lami’s stale scent, trying to regain his equilibrium. After about 5 minutes Law regains enough composure to sit up, looking around Law realized that he discarded his father's letter when he went to grab the rabbit. He picks it up with shaking hands and starts reading, slowly, because it has been a long time since he has seen and read his father's handwriting.

> _ Law, _
> 
> _ I’m sorry. The sins of this country should not be yours to bear but it seems that the children are always the ones that suffer the most. Your mother and I are trying our best to figure out how to cure this disease. We found out that it is from the White Lead, and the World Government and the Nobles knew it would cause our people to get sick. It’s not contagious like our neighbors believe. It seems like they have all abandoned us but we have a duty as doctors and as human beings to continue to look for a cure. However, if you're reading this it means we were not able to find one fast enough to save ourselves. I don’t know if we are going to be able to save Lami. She is already showing advanced symptoms, we’re trying everything we can to slow it down and stop it. But… It’s not looking good for us Law. So right now, we aren’t going to focus on us, we are going to focus on you. You are smart, clever, and strong. We are going to keep looking for a cure so that you can live. We are so proud of you. You are an amazing son, so intelligent, I know that you are going to be able to help a lot of people one day. You’re an adoring and dotting brother, Lami loves you more than anyone. Even when we are gone, you will still be these things. I am sorry Law, I am sorry that I can’t watch you grow into an amazing man. I am sorry that we left you behind in this life. I am sorry that we couldn’t do more for you. But I know that you will survive. You have a fighting spirit so much like your mothers. I am sorry that we are leaving you and I am sorry that you will be alone but you need to live and you need to survive and you need to THRIVE Law. I know you will be alone for awhile but no one is meant to be alone. Even if you are alone now someday you will find your nakama. Be happy Law, be free. _
> 
> _ Love, _
> 
> _ Mom & Dad _

Law felt the paper under his hand crumple. He loosened his fingers, one by one till the paper wasn’t at risk of ripping.  _ In. Out. Breathe _ . Law felt like his entire world was just ripped from him. Some of the stuff he already knew, being with Doflamingo was a good way to gain information about things no one is supposed to know about. But his parents knew they weren’t going to make it, that Lami might not make it. Law felt his eyes prickle, he laid down and curled up on his side. Law was shifting through so many emotions, he was exhausted. Law closed his eyes, knowing he couldn’t sleep here but needing a break. Law let himself relax in his little sister's bed and just process everything that has happened over that past handful of hours. Law knows that if he stays any longer he’s going to fall asleep, so he forces himself to get up. Law takes a deep breath before going around his home one more time, saying good-bye and committing it to memory. Thanking the home for providing for him, thanking his parents for always being there for him, and thanking Lami for being the best little sister Law could have wanted. 

With one final good-bye Law leaves his childhood home, of the place where he was allowed to be ignorant of the traumas the world has to offer. Law left the place where he was a big brother to the best little sister and an adoring son to parents that loved and protected him. He left his home again, this time of his own choice and not because soldiers were hunting him down. Law decided that he may come back one day, or he may not, but either way at least he knows what is left for him. Law left, walking out of that town on his own two feet, instead of hiding underneath the bodies of his friends and classmates. Law left, not empty handed and scared, but with a knapsack full of treasure and with a confidence in himself that he has earned over the years. No longer cowering in fear of the government and shattered from all that he lost. Law returned to The Polar Tang, to his crew, his new family. 

Law was allowed to return to the captain's quarters with minimum interaction with his crew. A few sent him warm smiles, Sachi and Penguin gently bumped into him with a nod. Bepo stopped Law in the corridor right outside Law’s room. No words needed to be exchanged between the two. Bepo looked Law up and down and quickly encompassed Law in one of Bepo’s famous bear hugs. Law careful to shift the knapsack out of Bepo’s touch before returning the hug. Once Bepo released Law he gave a curt nod, turned on his paws and left Law by himself again. 

Once Law was safely closed in his quarters and The Polar Tang started to descend into the ocean in search of their next adventure Law began to unpack his knapsack. He took everything out one by one and put them away. Law took out the letter from his parents and put it in the top drawer of his desk. Nobody ever went into Law’s desk anyways, and if they did they wouldn’t be able to make out his father's doctor handwriting anyways. He then took out some family pictures and photo albums and 2 medical books, one his father wrote and one he hasn’t been able to come across in all his searching. He is really excited to show it to Chopper, and talk to him about all the implications of the research in the book and how it was still relevant almost 20 years after it was published, which is an auditity in the medical field. He put them on his bookshelves with the exception of the last family photo they took together. He set that on his desk, facing away from the door so that it can only be seen when someone is at the desk or on Law’s bed.

Underneath all Laws treasure, tucked safely so it wouldn’t be lost, was one small stuffed rabbit. He picked it up gently and placed it in the middle of his bed. It could be seen from anywhere in the room and even from the corridor if Law’s door was open, but Law didn’t care. He could not bare to hide it away somewhere and if anybody wanted to say something about it Law would cut their heart out, literally, he had a reputation to uphold.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! Also you can follow me on tumblr!  
One Piece: agrandline-anewworld  
Main: thewayshefell
> 
> I also do not have a beta so there may be some tense mix up and spelling errors! If you see any please let me know so I can fix it.


End file.
